posted on: 6.11.2009

Hope is the feeling you have that the feeling you have isn’t permanent.
— Jean Kerr

Feelings. Feel. I feel. You feel. We all feel.
I've been struggling with how i feel...a lot! Im in that point in your life where the things that mean so much to you stop making sense and it forces you to live a life that wanders instead of being a life with a purpose. I've been praying for this to go away and it seems the feelings get stronger. I dwell in past heartbreaks, forgotten people, uncertainty of tomorrows and the purpose of today. I stopped hoping. I stopped holding on my breath for greater things. I'm not going through any tough times, like i had. My life is going well, in fact, there's a millions things i should be happy for now. But happiness just flashes across me so fast, it's like a butterfly i can't catch with my bare hands. I'm trying hard to figure it all out because i'm being a letdown to myself and indirectly to others. Battling through nightmares and not having enough time to actually enjoy it. I don't even have motivation to rise up to conquer future problems or even to go to church. What's wrong with me? I believe this is permanent, and i can feel a tingly sensation of hope...Hoping this isn't permanent.

3 Smiles:

  1. heyy

    i know exactly how you feel. i'm going through the exact same thing.

    try to busy yourself with whatever you can, and then from 'afar of time' things will seem clearer.

    nothing is permanent though, no feeling lasts forever, good or bad.

    look back and be proud of things you have already accomplished, big or small.

    maybe, maybe you need to meet someone? an old friend? a new one?

    that's always refreshing. Whatever it will be, sooner or later something will snap you out of how youre feeling right now.

    Love, Tallie

  2. ..if it helps you any, there's a song i know that says "changes aren't permanent, but change is"

  3. ashes,
    would you believe me if i told you that i know exactly what you're going through? because i have gone through that many a time in my life. the feeling of a purposeless life, the meaningless activities of day that bring no fulfillment by night. a void that seems to in our heart.

    i, too, go through those phases a lot! in fact, quite recently as well. i know what you mean when you say you have no motivation to go to church. i struggled with that towards the end of last year until last month. i used to looove going to church, but somehow i lost my way and began wandering for a bit. i dreaded waking up in the mornings to go.

    in fact, i relate to you very much, because i was having a wonderful life with nothing to complain about. yet, still, there was that sense of frustration and meaninglessness in me. i questioned God, i questioned people, and everything else.

    but if there's one thing i've learned, is that Jesus is the Way, the Truth, the Life. He's the one that fills the void in my heart - no one or nothing else can do that. HE is my purpose of living.

    recently, i've found the passion for Jesus once again. i'm still regaining my discipline of spending quality time with Him every day.

    you'll be all right, ashes! more than okay! :D i'll be praying for you. chin up, and smile that beautiful smile of yours!


Your comments make me smile :)
I read every single one.