The Rebel Sigh

"...and I realized that the deepest spiritual lessons are not learned by His letting us have our way in the end, but by His making us wait, bearing with us in love and patience until we are able to honestly pray what He taught His disciples to pray: thy will be done. Acceptance of whatever that means is the great victory of faith that overcomes the word."


"Love has entered the picture. Therefore in your heart, you can be very honest when you tell him you really prefer to do what He wants, because, more than your own pleasure, you want His. When obedience to God contradicts what I think will give me pleasure, let me ask myself if I love Him. A little quiet reflection will remind me that yes to God always leads in the end to joy."


"If the yearnings went away, what would we have to offer up to the Lord? Aren't they given to us to offer? It is the control of passion, not it's eradication, that is needed. How would we learn to submit to the authority of Christ if we had nothing to submit?"


"If all struggles and sufferings were eliminated, the Spirit would no more reach maturity than would the child. The heavenly father wants to see us grow up."

All quotes from the book "Passion & Purity" by Elisabeth Elliot. I went back on my notes and found these quotes that had spoken to me on May 9, 2010. Today, I find myself in a place not very similar to the one I was almost 2 months ago. The struggles and situations are different, but God is working inside of me and I take refuge in the wisdom of these words. It's a matter of faith, now. I have to believe God will provide for me even if I'm against all odds. I need a miracle. Only God can intervene in my situation. And I have to believe He will come through, that He will meet me there. I am growing up in Him. He is making me more mature through this process. But it's hard to wait for Him to act.
I can only find rest in His Word and His love. He will not forsake me. I've come too far for Him to leave me now.

I know He will do it. How?
well, "How?" is the common question many would ask in my place. However, "How?" is a faithless question.

1 Peter 5:10 "And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."

a girl with a smile