["You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:13]
(WARNING: This is a long post and I will talk about my personal revelations & convictions)
I gave up my dreams and plans again. I haven't allowed myself to dream for the past 2 years. Well, in actuality, I had one dream for the past four years: to go to my dream college. And it was fulfilled by God's grace and mercy. I went there for a year and met some of the most amazing people God could ever put on my path. But it's a new season, a new time. And even though dreams can be so enticing, if not done properly and backed up securely, they will only remain that...just a dream.
I want to dream with the heart of God.
It's possible. I've known many who have done it. The cost? Your life in exchange for His.
I smile and I write because of Him. Each day, I'm reminded of who I was. The enemy repeats it to me every chance he gets. But because I know his schemes, I tell the enemy who Jesus is and what He did in order for me to no longer be who I was. I am redeemed, accepted, loved and protected. Yes, I was unworthy and filthy. I'm quite imperfect still. But by the blood of Christ I am made new & clean. Praise the Lord!
I cannot remain with an old mindset. I need a new one. I need His. And along with His mind comes His heart. And the result of possessing both of those things comes the dreams I long for.
It's beautiful, to know God. The One who is still active and working. If you knew Him like I do... He is real, looking for people who will believe He is powerful and all mighty. He won't relent. I'm telling you, the dream to go to that particular college was so God-given, that every time I ran out of money and needed food or something, the money would appear. I saw the miracles. Not to mention I couldn't afford college in the first place. Being there was a miracle in itself. Which goes to show you that a God-given dream is always backed up by the excellent Provider.
Will you just believe? Will you desire His dreams instead of yours? Will you conquer?
The church has lost the conquest spirit. We are called His ambassadors, yet we are conformed with receiving blessings and just praying for those we care for. We are called His princesses/princes, yet we do not know the territory He has given us. We don't even know Him enough to act on the authority He has given us. We behave like if church is our kingdom and we are not separating ourselves to discern the times we are living. My Bridegroom is coming. Not soon, but now. This period of grace is so short, we can't really lean on it and think He is not coming in the next 3 years. I am reminded of the parable of the ten virgins (Matthew 25) and I think to myself, am I wise? Or foolish? Am I keeping watch? Am I responding to the calling Jesus gave me (the great commission)? What are my priorities when I know that everything on earth is destined for destruction? This body will fail. Material possessions are nothing compared to His majesty. Do I spend more time with my plans and dreams than in His presence, where I find His heart?
To dream His dreams is to find Him; to find Him is to seek Him.
If you read Jeremiah 29:13 again, notice how it will cost you something to find the One true God. You have to seek Him with all your heart. You have to give up the things you want (when you probably don't need it in the first place). Believe me, God's not interested in the things we "want". What else do we need when we have a God who is faithful and cares for us? When you become a Christian, you owe yourself to your Savior. This is why I admire muslims: they are willing to give up their lives for a god who is angry and destructive. How much more should we be willing to give up our lives for a God who desires a relationship with us and who wants to bless you? Who loves us.
The church is settling for less. I won't settle anymore. I want the heart of God, and I'm going to seek it until it finds me. And when He begins to give me His dreams, you will watch the great things He will do through me. I will dream and it will be my reality. And it will cost me. I am going to have to pick up my cross and follow Him more often than what I do now. I will have to give up my 'passions' (more like things that have become idols) in order to be consumed completely by Him. Yet, I'm so passionate about my God, that it's the least I could do after all He has done for me. After taking me out of the pit (mind you, I often find myself in it), cleansing me and tenderly speaking to me. I have to tell people about this God who calls me beloved. Who wouldn't want to spend an eternity with Him?
Thank you Jesus. It's been 2010 years since your death and there are many today who do not know you, but I am blessed to have the privileged to sit at your table. I want to go after those who aren't able. Those who need you and your salvation. A life is not a thing you can built whenever you feel like it, like a house. When a person dies, his/her soul goes somewhere, eternally. I don't want someone to go to hell simply because I didn't respond to the Gospel and I kept it to myself. I care way too much, even if people rise against me...and maybe that's the beginning of having a heart like His.