Some advice about relationships

posted on: 2.17.2011


“Do not awaken or arouse love until it so desires.” That was the word from the Lord. That was all I had to stand by. I had no idea that God was going to take me on a journey that would change my life.

Can I just say that I wasn’t looking to date? I wasn’t looking for a wife. But when I saw her, I knew. The attraction was something deeper then the skin, but shallower than the spiritual. I quickly became the guy who liked the girl with the smile. I made a covenant with the Lord that I would not introduce myself to this beauty, but that He would introduce us if it was His will. It was. We met, through a friend, two weeks later. What conspired after wasn’t so great. It went something like this: guy expresses feelings prematurely, girl freaks out, girl comes back, feelings are exchanged and fireworks happen, God says not yet, they choose to obey, guy falls out of attraction, girl runs away from attraction, and all seems lost. That ridiculously long run-on sentence covered about 8 months.

Lo and behold, the Lord was in control the whole time. I don’t think we ever fell fully out of attraction for one another, I think we just gave up on the Lord. As we “moved on” we moved into a true best friend relationship. God began stirring in my heart an attraction for her like the one I originally had, but I didn’t want to ruin the great friendship that was being birthed. I asked God to take control of my passions; He did. Then on December 6th, 2010 God whispered in my ear, “it’s time.” I knew what He was talking about, and I really didn’t want to go there. He was talking about the beginning of a courtship.

On December 10th, 2010 I asked for her hand in courtship. We began our courtship that day. There are not many rules for us. The words “I love you” and the physical seal of a kiss will be reserved for our engagement season, which is when our love will be proved. Right now I am thoroughly enjoying this dating season. It is filled with late night chats, frequent texts, and snail mail letters. Our dates are never conventional; we like to be creative in all aspects.

I would love to say that there is a “right way” to doing a courtship, but there really isn’t. It’s about seeking the face of God and watching Him do everything. All we are required to do is obey and enjoy. Please allow me, though, to shed some words of wisdom. Girls: DO NOT do the pursuing. Wait on that boy, and when he is ready he will MAN UP and purse you. Keep your eyes on the Lord, as He is your groom during your single season. Guys: Don’t rush into a pursuit just because your feelings tell you too. Step back for a second and see what God thinks of it. Lastly, if your not ready to get married one to two years after you begin courting, then you are not ready to be courting at all… justsayin.


16 Smiles:

  1. This was so incredibly encouraging. As it pertains to relationships, I remind myself that seeking the kingdom of God first is ALL I'll ever need. Thank you for this personal entry, I believe it will continue to give hope for many out there; I know it has for me. And I wish you the best as the two of you pursue God's will.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow! (I'm literally speechless)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wonderful post..its very true! Too many girls throw themselves at the boys & then end up broken hearted because they did everything. It's best to let them persue you & make an effort if they're really interested in you. If they are, they won't mind taking the time to get to know you and stuff. This I must teach my daughter when she is older, or my husband will go around locking boys up ;) hehe!! Have a great weekend xx

    ReplyDelete
  4. Your love story made me happy. Thank you :) And Im so GLAD that you listened to the Lord first insteed of rushing in to anything. And for your great wisdome God gave you. May He bless you in your marriage and in every other part of life :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Well written! I'm glad to call both of you my friends :) Creativity and kindness surrounds your relationship. Can we all hang out sometime soon?

    ReplyDelete
  6. That's such a sweet story! :-)

    ReplyDelete
  7. oh this is SO sweet! I was touched and encouraged by this! I especially agree with that last sentence as well.

    So happy for the two of you!♥

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wow, I am speechless.
    This answers so many questions I've been having lately. Thank you for posting this. It is a HUGE blessing to me and obviously to others as well :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. How lovely! What a beautiful testimony of God's providence!!!

    My husband and I courted...we will have been married 6 years in May! I am so glad that my parents didn't let me date in highschool, what a blessing it's been!!!

    ReplyDelete
  10. This is so wonderful and real. I began a courtship this December 2010 as well. It has been the most thrilling and challenging experience. Your story is such an encouragement to me!

    ReplyDelete
  11. despite the fact that I agree 100% with all of this...

    The Lord has convicted me on this topic. Perhaps because the situation in my life that has arisen as of late. I am glad that I am being reminded to slow down my thoughts and TRUST God here on your page today.

    Blessings!

    ♥cheche

    ReplyDelete
  12. I really being court by man because it is so romantic.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I'm soo encouraged by your story. I'm single, saved, but haven't been found yet.
    I wish you both the best...

    ReplyDelete
  14. I really needed to hear this. thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  15. About 5 years ago I made a pact with God that no man could get to me without going through God first, and I meant it!
    I just started dating a guy a few weeks ago and I asked him what his favorite Bible verse was. I've never been this openly bold with a guy before about God. He said he didn't know, so I went ahead and gave him mine. It was "Do not awaken love until it so desires" and I explained to him what it meant. I've known it since college and it means the world to me. It does make me sad at times, I've waited forever to meet someone worthy of me and it just never happened. I get not only how important waiting is, but how important it is not to manipulate his feelings or mine in hopes to find out what being in love really feels like, because that isn't how love works anyway. The man I am dating had gone to church his whole life, but God is not the center of his life. He told me he has no problem with my beliefs (sex is for marriage, no co-habitation prior to marriage, know God and read your Bible), and he won't try and pressure me into anything and if anything gets out of hand he'll ask me to stop. If would be a total relief and a blessing to meet a man strong enough and wise enough to say no to me when needed.....I don't want to be the man in the relationship anyway. Pray for him, he's a good guy but the Godly part of him needs some cultivating and I will not be with a man that does not seek God's wisdom and approval in all areas of his life.

    ReplyDelete

Your comments make me smile :)
I read every single one.