|© weepy hollow|
Young women of Jerusalem, swear to me that you will not awaken love or arouse love before its proper time! (GWT)I am going to talk to you about the graceful art of waiting. There is no such thing. Let me give you a snippet of my journal entry and you might understand me better:
- Song of Solomon 8:4
"God, give me the patience to hold on. I want to not grow tired or rebellious about you writing my love story." - Nov. 17, 2009
Let me give you the context of when I wrote this. I had been enjoying a season of God pursuing me as the Lover of my soul like never before. And in this pursuit of Him breaking the walls that calloused my heart, I was required to let love in. A total healing process of letting go of the false idea I had of love, relationships and marriage. 3 months prior to this entry, I had made a covenant with the Lord that I would not date for a year, even if He brought the right guy into my life (this is really how His pursuit for my soul began). And when I made this covenant, I thought I would not be tempted to break it because I didn't have any guy catch my attention (and I wasn't expecting it to...) but there I was, desperately asking the Lord for strength to wait, just 3 months after!! The impossible had happened: I was wanting to date this godly guy that had caught my attention with his walk with the Lord. The pressure was on.
During this time, we became good friends. I got to study and observe the guy in real situations. I got to meet his family and see him serve. And (hopefully), he got to see the same from me. The waiting period seemed endless! I didn't even know when we would progress. I was waiting for the Lord to reveal if this would be the guy or not, an answer he would not give me without faith on my part. So I waited... I wanted God's will more than my own. I did not want to 'make' this guy the one for me. I guarded my heart as I waited: I didn't tell him things that were personal to me, or the hurts from the past. I told myself that I wouldn't tell him things I would not tell someone else on the same friendship level just because my emotions told me to. God was capable of orchestrating our story without my help or his. I could rest on that. Ironically, through this waiting season I was being prepared for the next season. The foundation for our relationship was being laid. I could expect our relationship to bear good fruits just because good fruit was bearing through our friendship season. We grown alongside each other and God has been and will always be our common ground! Waiting had to be about God, not each other. It is to glorify Him, not the sake of just dating someone.
Song of Solomon 8:4 was the word God gave me months later about my friendship with this guy. At the time, we were going through some pride-&-prejudice style misunderstandings in which we were not really on the same page and I really doubted we would see a courting season. But this word was God's attempt to soothe my hopes and I believed Him. I kept focused on my walk with the Lord and what He was asking of me at that time, giving Him every part of me. I waited in Him. It stopped being about wanting a relationship, but just believing the Lord's best for my life. I was ready to accept the outcome, whatever that meant (single for life or not).
It wasn't a walk in the park (more like a walk through a dark and scary path leading nowhere) but it was worth it. Why? because there is a reward in obedience and faithfulness (I was faithful in my covenant with the Lord). I see an amazing man of God in my future. Someone who was my best friend first and appreciated me just the way I was not to just date me.
Wait for that man of God. He exists, but you must believe the Lord can bring Him into your life. It will happen like this: The Lord will tell you to do something. You will follow His voice to a room. You'll be lost, and forced to ask someone to take you to the right place. And in that process, the guy will see you and know that you're the girl he's been waiting for. And you won't notice, because really you were following God's voice, completely oblivious to anyone else. And then this guy will want to introduce himself to you but the Lord will tell him not to. And two weeks later you will meet, through a mutual friend (proving that the waiting only added to the awesomeness). Or maybe it won't happen like this, haha. But this is how my story came about, so why not?
(all pictures except the very last one were from our friendship time. And yes, you can laugh. Cause we really do look ridiculous. bahaha)