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A child. The Lord called me a child a month ago. I remember feeling appalled! How could He say that to me? Immature? Me? Well, sure, compared to 40 yr old. I was deeply offended. It wasn't until recently that I understood what He meant. As a child, my mom would pray Psalm 23 with me every night. It is engraved in my heart. It's no wonder He used it to confront me with who I really am:Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
—Psalm 23:4 (NIV)
Both the child and the cynic walk through the valley of the shadow of death. The cynic focuses on the darkness; the child focuses on the Shepherd. —Paul MillerI'm a cynical girl. Yep that's right! I don't believe in good intentions, I cannot easily receive love from other people and I lack hope. That is who I am.
I have to say it was hard to admit it to myself and ask for forgiveness from the Lord. But even harder to confess it through here. No one likes to come face to face with their sins, much less expose them. However, I am still a sinner and I cannot pretend to be something I'm not.
Have you ever gone through a dark time? I'm not sure if drowning, along with other near death experiences, count as walking through the valley of death but I can assure you the valley of weeping has a big resemblance to it. I've walked it before, I'm sure... as a cynic. Now the Lord is asking me to walk through it as a child.
See, a girl with a smile is lazy, selfish and cynical. But the Jesus in me is the opposite of all those. With Jesus, I am a child who trusts, believes all things, hopes all things, & delights being loved. That is why the Lord called me a child; I am His.
I need to focus on the One who leads, what I know (His promises) and not worry about what I don't.
I know He is my Shepherd(Psalm 23:1); that I do not have to fear the unknown for He is with me. That He has done everything in His power to prove His love for me (John 3:16).
I am going to embrace Him like a child embraces her Father and walk with the confidence of knowing He will make my feet like the deers (Habakkuk 3:19); they rise amidst the temporal.