|© Jesy <3|
I am experiencing brokenness. I used to runaway from troubles and inconveniences. I would lie to escape punishments. This was my nature as a child. I was too smart and unfortunately for me, I got away with it. I was only concerned with myself. By age 12, I knew how to manipulate all who surrounded me. However, God was never in that category. As I first came into His arms, He showed me a picture of who He was calling me to be: strength. I told Him, "Lord, I am not a fighter. I am safe in my cave. To be strong, you must be weak. I don't want it."
His response was one that quieted my soul: "Jesus didn't fight the cross yet death could not hold Him. I triumphed over what looked like defeat."
I didn't want to be weak and broken. I still struggle with this. It means that I have to own up to my actions and I can't go hide from consequences. But in weakness, He was made strong. So, I embraced brokenness then and still continue to do so. Today, when things fall apart, I remain steadfast on His ground. And even if sometimes I just want give up and run to a cave, I've learned that the refusal to die to self makes me miserable. And I have been made to endure! To be victorious! To win the fight! His Love beckons me.
Brokenness... it means going to the Cross every chance you get. It means giving things that escape your control and saying "Lord, you knew of this. You knew this would happen. You know my feelings. You know my hurts. And I give this to you. Take it, I can no longer carry this." Being broken is being bent; you will find Him the most when you're on your knees. Our flesh will war against being broken, because it will lose power there and we will embrace our Beloved. In weakness, He will be our strength. He will triumph in our defeat.
Which way are you taking? The road that leads to the temporary happiness? The road that pretends? I have known much of the world to tell you that I have not found anything worthwhile but Christ. And to follow Christ, one must be willing to follow Him to the road that leads to Calvary. It's on that hill that true brokenness comes alive. I challenge your heart today to follow Him. If you're struggling with sin, let the blood of the Lamb cleanse you and give you authority over it. Let me remind you that it was finished some 2000 years ago and sin cannot keep you captive. If your struggle is with yielding to His will, look into the eyes of Grace and let Him dress you with humility and meekness. Let His humility and meekness compel you to seek Him more and more. Remember the willingness He had to be tortured for you.
Yes Lord, lead me to your heart. Lead me to the cross. Lead me to the way of brokenness.