Guest post: 5 important things {learned} about being single

posted on: 2.17.2012

Hey there! I'm Natalie from Scribbles n'Things where I share my faith, creative juices, and my every day life. In honor of Valentines Day {week} I was asked if I could share about 5 important things I've learned about being single. I can't say that I've fully grasped all of these "lessons," but these are the things that I'm continuing to grow in and strive for.
God Comes First. One of my all time favorite passages of scripture is Isaiah 54, The Eternal Covenant of Peace as some theologians have titled it. Verse five says...
For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called. (ESV)
Christ is to be the lover and husband of my soul, not a man. Regardless if I'm single (or married) I'm already in a covenant. I have a love life with the Creator of the universe. This is the relationship I have to cultivate and nurture more than any other relationship I could ever have. I'm His beloved bride. You and I must take delight in the divine romance before we ever enter into an
earthly one. For the divine romance will feed into the earthly one
making it a beautiful display of the gospel here on earth for others to

Stewardship Matters. Often we associate that word only in regards to our finances, but biblical stewardship goes much deeper than just throwing some cash in the plate Sunday morning. Biblical stewardship involves managing our time, gifts, money, possessions, talents... everything. Now is the time to learn how to handle our personal finances (i.e. balancing a checkbook, maintaining a budget, saving, paying off debts, and getting good at stretching a dollar), to get involved in a local church, picking up basic homemaking skills. These are all important disciplines and practices to have, but let's dig a bit deeper: Are you stewarding your past well? That's sort of an odd question to ask ourselves. What I mean is we all have baggage from our past. Some of us more than others. But we'd be foolish in thinking that it's not going to affect our marriages, but it will. For some of us it's unhealthy addictions or sexual sins, or it could be that our parents got divorced... or just had really bad marriages, and we all have father wounds of some kind or another. During our single years we should try our best to work through and find healing for all our past sins/wounds so that we take in as little baggage as possible in our marriages. Maybe it helps to think of it this way, what kind of husband or wife do you want to be for your future spouse? What steps can you take today in order to become that kind of person?

It's Not Wrong or Sinful to Desire Marriage. In Genesis chapter two God says it's not good for man to be alone, so He created a helpmate suitable for Adam. In many ways both you and I were wired for marriage. We live in a culture and society were marriage isn't necessarily held in honor and it's put off for as long as possible, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I do earnestly desire to be a wife and mom someday, and there's absolutely nothing wrong in wanting that (although we shouldn't let that desire become an idol). God is pro-marriage.

Get Yourself a Naomi! Having proverbial Naomi's who speak into our lives can help us navigate the murky waters in our relationships. God doesn't desire His children to live in isolation but in community, and community should have a role in our love life as well.

You Should Be Hard to Get. "Well you're just playing hard to get!" "Your standards are too high." I've heard those words a time or two directed towards me. Look, if I'm going to be spending the rest of my life with one man, he needs to be a Real Man! Ladies, please, please, please don't settle when it comes to the man you marry (and the ones you date as well). You're a daughter of the Most High King! God does not desire to give his daughters to mediocre men. Christ loves you like no other in the universe. He knows every single thing about you from your deepest desires, secrets, dreams,
hopes, strengths, flaws, wounds, sins, weaknesses, your likes and dislikes,
what makes you smile, what makes you laugh so hard your stomach hurts,
what breaks your heart, what makes you cry, and what encourages you. Marriage is about mirroring the gospel, which means you need to wait for a man who will love you as Christ loved the church. Know to whose you are. Yes, I may be playing hard to get, but it's because I am.

7 Smiles:

  1. I really liked the second point! I think every girl goes through that uncomfortable stage of feeling guilty for wanting to get married. No one wants to be THAT girl, but we are all THAT girl... because we were created to get married (unless you were gifted with celibacy hehe).

    Great post!

  2. YES YES YES!:) So perfect to read today :)

  3. Great post! It seriously hit some awesome points. When I was a dating girl, I always jumped from one relationship to the other, trying to fill a void that was only God's to fill. It wasn't until I was in a committed relationship with both God and my now husband that I felt God tugging on my heart. I had been putting my boyfriend in higher esteem over God. I wanted him to be happy with me, not to leave me but then God spoke into my heart saying, "Do you care about him more than me?"

    From then on, I knew my relationship had to be the other way around. God had to be first, He doesn't want our second best.

    I think that's another great thing for women who are single to know. No one should be esteemed or placed above our relationship with God. It's in him that we find love, joy, peace, and everlasting fulfillment.

    Vonae Deyshawn

  4. this is sooo great!!! i'm putting together a blog on singleness soon and will be linking to this post! lovin' that isaih 54 verse - i have never heard or encountered that one before! so beautiful :) thank you for sharing!

    1. Hey Allie! I'll be on the lookout for your post too =D

  5. Thanks for letting me guest post Ashley! It was fun, and I'm glad other girls are being encouraged as well!

  6. Spoke right to my heart! I am going to be sharing this with a few friends of mine :]


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