Breaking the Silence

It's been a bit quiet around these parts. Too quiet.
It's time to finally break it.

My life has been busy. Busy, busy, busy. I've never been so busy in my life! 

But, oh, they've been so full. Full of refinement, joy, tears, laughter, love... so much love. 

I've never been so alive. 

God has kept me on my toes, spiritually speaking. After returning from India, it was hard to settle into a routine. I struggled with my quiet times a lot! We were waiting on a promise that God had spoken without losing our joy in our present circumstances. We fussed and complained but nothing changed. We repented, remained broken in His presence and we were changed. Alas, things are much better now although we still wait for the promise to come. If there's one thing I have learned in this refining season, it has been to count it all joy. I say this with tears in my eyes because it is very painful, growing up and being mature in the faith, but it is a joy.

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. James 1:2-4

James doesn't say if troubles come your way but when it does, there will be an opportunity for great joy. This has led me to reflect a lot on a mother as she labors in pain. Motherhood is a beautiful thing but it comes with much pain & sacrifice. You basically lend your body to this being that is going to drain you from your nutrients and energy. Your body will never be the same afterwards! And yet, the mother is willing to put herself through the risks because she knows the result will be worth it. I recently heard that if you want to do a natural birth, you need to learn to embrace the pain from the contractions instead of dreading it to make it more bearable to your body. What an opportunity for great joy to have a baby! And no, Louis and I are not trying to have babies anytime soon, but because I am closer to motherhood now that I'm married, I do contemplate on these things often. I believe we must spiritually embrace the pain that comes from our present troubles, knowing that there will be joy. You cry, then you wipe your tears and continue on. Hold tight to the promises He has given you but don't forget all He has done in your life. He is good.

I can honestly say that the Lord is my refuge. I didn't grasp the concept before, but now I do. What a joy to experience that the Almighty is my refuge! I've been so blessed, there's nothing I lack. That's the amazing thing of endurance and perseverance, you need nothing. All you need, you already have; refuge, strength, comfort, provision... God.

I've been holding on to Psalm 27, especially these verses:

Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living. Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord.