I'm engaged

I'm wearing: Polka dot skirt & dangling earrings from Forever 21 - Mustard heels from Payless - Denim shirt from Walmart

I've been staring at the blank spaces here for hours. I don't really know what to say here, other than I just had the most unexpected, surreal & memorable weekend of my life.
Louis, along with my family & best friend(AND THE LORD), pulled a BIG ONE on me. By BIG ONE I'm referring to the fact that they actually surprised. Apparently this was in the works since July.

I had no idea what was about to happen this past weekend. It is so hard to surprise me! I always end up finding out or I see it coming. It doesn't help that I have discernment and the Lord usually tells me about big things in my life. But I would've never thought He would take me on the offer of hiding my own engagement. That was my prayer for a while but then I pulled back and told Him I would want to know. I'm so glad I didn't! I had a feeling God & Louis were hiding something from me and I even mentioned it to Louis back in July. I didn't think it would be engagement. I really didn't.

I'm tricked into picking up someone from the airport on Friday, completely ruining my plans that day. I was in such a bad mood and was lacking a whole lot of grace. I complained and talked to Louis about it on my way to the airport. Then, lo & behold, Louis shows up and my jaw drops (fyi, my "shock" expression is pretty ugly). I begin to tear up a bit while Louis is trying to get me to unlock the door, haha.
"What's going through your mind right now?" —Louis asked
"Oh my gosh I need to change clothes. AND I HOPE YOU'RE NOT PROPOSING!" —me
"haha nah, no one knows I'm here so I don't have to deal with that pressure. Can't I just come down here to just see my lady?"  —Louis

well played, sir, well played. People have asked us about engagement since BEFORE we were dating. People have asked to be invited to our wedding since BEFORE we were dating. Trust me, we've felt the pressure to be engaged because it "was the next level", "the good thing to do". Too bad this isn't about us!

Louis said he wanted to date me that evening, since we can't have dates often. We dressed nice, got pizza (my stomach was in knots for being so surprised I just couldn't eat a decent meal!) &, for the first time ever, went to see a movie together. It was a perfect evening but I was sooooo tired and it was getting late. We tried find a photo booth (we try to get one each year) but it didn't happen. Photo Booths in PR are (we learned) scarce. By midnight we were home. By 12:45am I was engaged. He told me he loved me for the first time and we had our first kiss. 

It didn't happen the way Louis planned but it was perfect for me. He'll be sharing the proposal story soon!

These pictures are from our goodbye at the airport. I miss you so much already and I'm glad we conquered this long-distance thing—against all odds, negative comments & unbelief. God was, is & will be faithful. My faith has been stretched beyond deep waters ever since I said "yes".

I tell you all this because what I really want to share today is about pastor Dan's message this morning at my church. He had just gotten back from a trip the day before after being away for two weeks. According to our church bulletin, the message was titled "God fixes broken people". I was excited to bring Louis to see the church I've been recently attending, so it was so great to have pastor Dan the same Sunday Louis was there.

Pastor Dan tells the congregation:

"God has laid on my heart to talk about marriage today. I'm not sure if only one person has to hear this, but I'm gonna obey the Lord's leading. I'm sorry for this change at such a short notice, especially sorry for the media people. If you're visiting here today, please know I don't do this often."

I was stunned. Louis was taken aback as well. It was such a perfect message! Pastor Dan gave some life principals based on Adam & Eve's "engagement" story if you will, and it was a blessing. It meant the world to me because I felt God interfere in order to let me know He had ordained this engagement to happen the way it did. God is just making my dreams come true, one by one. Things hidden in my heart; things between just Him & I. And He gets all the glory for it. 

Wanna know a little secret? I had one of the worst meltdowns the day before I was engaged! I felt like waiting on God for direction in my life had become eternal. He wouldn't speak with clarity. I was at the end of my rope and I just wanted to give up! Surely I was in the bottom of His priority list. The Lord must've looked at me and said "this whiny little girl doesn't even know what's coming. I'm gonna let her have her tantrum."

In my eyes, I had failed the test of patience. My engagement to Louis is only because of God's grace. I don't deserve it. 

I tell you all this because I don't want it to seem like I'm glamorizing my engagement—we still have a long way to go. This engagement is the blessing of two people who dared to believe in God's promises for their life in the midst of a storm.

Louis was only here for the weekend, and our goodbye was not an easy thing. But I rest assured that my time without him is so short, we'll be together before we know it. I'm gonna be doing life with him soon.

I'm gonna marry my best friend. 

I'm engaged.