Darling Companion

I'm over at Darling Companion talking about being a (no pun intended) darling companion.

I believe God is calling us to be godly ladies who. not only pray through Romans 12:9-21, but live it.

Come on over and join the conversation!

Will you be a Darling Companion?

A God who goes beyond our needs

Okay, I’ve exhausted my mind trying to figure out how I could begin this entry. 

I’ll just start with a simple introduction: I’m Ashley Maisonet.

I’ve been so courteously invited to write on Ashley’s (the other one) blog.

Let me start with some history. For a long time now, I’ve always been fascinated with photography.

It was always something I enjoyed messing around with, but not something I thought to take up as a hobby.

However, about two years ago I met the lovely Ashley Santiago (soon-to-be Holstein! Ahhh!).

It was then, that my interest in photography was truly ignited.

She would always let me “play” with her camera when we were together and for me, it was the absolute best thing.

It was then that I realized I wanted to take up photography!

One problem though: I didn’t have a camera.

This is for you.

"If you're going through a tough season, this is for you. If you're not, this is still for you."

I'm sharing at Darling Companion's blog.

Darling Companion

Darling Companion Launch Promo from Darling Companion on Vimeo.

Im excited for the blog launch of Darling Companion.
It's a project that I've been invited to contribute, along with some great gals.
It's been under-wraps for months & it is finally being unveiled!

 We walk with you.

Compelled in Puerto Rico

I was reluctant. I didn't necessarily want to go to Puerto Rico. Honestly, I wouldn't have chosen to go there... But the Lord opened a door, and I figured, "why not."


Praise the Lord He isn't limited by my attitude. 


Two hours after my feet hit PR soil everything changed. There was a desire in my heart to spread the gospel to these beautiful people. There was a genuine love that I felt for them that wasn't there hours prior. He was molding my heart to be more like His... I could feel it.

I went knowing I would be put on a construction crew.  Never having done anything quite like it before, I didn't know what to expect. As I was raking garbage out of the dirt, as I was pulling rusted nails out of a tin roof, as I was cutting and stacking wood -- I thought of Jesus.

"Jesus got up from the meal, took off His outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around His waist. After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash His disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around Him." - John 13:4-5

Jesus did something no one else wanted to do. It was the lowest of jobs, yet He did it willingly. Playing kickball with children is fun (we did that, too), but that was something I wanted to do -- it was something I looked forward to and enjoyed. Raking filth out of the dirt, however, wasn't as enjoyable... but it still had to be done. He showed me in a real and personal way that service isn't always clean. It's not always fashionable and picture perfect. I might, in fact, have to break a sweat, and step out of my comfort zone. 

He is so gracious. I'm so thankful that He would choose to use me. I don't deserve to know this love.

Photo credit: my friend Anna.

Rylie is such an inspiration to me in many ways. Her spiritual walk is encouraging as much as it is challenging. Lord knows that I'm humbled by the fact that this girl became the hands and feet of Jesus on my own country. You're a blessing Rylie! May you never part from the road less traveled.
—A 


Catch more of miss Rylie on her blog Compelled

love/hate relationship: being single

When so many of your peers around you are getting married or into serious relationships, you can’t help but wonder when your time is coming.

Slowly, one by one, my lovely girlfriends started to meet boys that became ‘the one’ for them. 'The 'one’ that we all believe will complete us, ‘the one’ that will take care of us, and ‘the one’ that will make all things in this life a billion times better.

Having never been in a serious or real relationship with a guy, I can fully attest to this love/hate relationship that many of us may have with singleness. It’s all I know. And hey, it’s not because I couldn’t be with someone. I’ve been pursued while I also pursued different guys I’d meet. For some reason, no matter how much I tried to be in a relationship, I could never make the decision to commit. In my 25 years, I haven't met anyone worthy enough to give my heart or body to. I was lucky enough to have been protected in this way.

Though I was protected and have been single my entire life, I couldn't embrace it-  it was never something I’d boast about. Singleness was a time of my life that I deal with. I longed to be with somebody. I've spent my single life attempting to figure out HOW to not be single. I observed those around me getting into relationships and tried to figure out what I needed  to change about myself. I saw the kind, naturally beautiful, subtly funny and pure girls getting married early, so I figured that my singleness was a result of who I was. I thought I had to fit the Christian girl prototype. I would hear guys talk about the kind of girls they wanted to marry and I always felt inadequate. This inadequacy left me with feeling like I had a list of problems I need to fix.

Rather than appreciating my single status as a precious period of my life that I’ll never have again, I used it to try to become the girl I thought guys wanted. I had to eliminate every problem I found within myself.  I lived under the pressure of comparing myself to all girls and I found myself in constant competition with them. Secretly, I judged them from head to toe, heart to soul and I did whatever I could to make sure I was better than them . This proved to be unsuccessful. Not only did I lose myself but I felt isolated from everyone I knew.

Then it hit me. I needed to be myself. I needed to be exactly the way God made me and realize that I am not a mistake. I want to be with a guy who will love me for all that I am and not someone I tried to be. If a guy liked my façade and my mask, then I’d be stuck in a false relationship. I'd never be able to feel his love. It would be unreal. I would have to spend the rest of my life trying to be someone that I wasn’t.

I’m discovering my true identity. I am a beloved and beautiful daughter of Christ. I was uniquely made for greater purposes that I have yet to discover. I won’t, and don’t have to be anyone but me. The man I will meet will see me and fall in love with the real me-all of me. My tattooed, scarred, broken body. My quiet, but outspoken personality. My doubts, fears, questions and faith.

In this time of singleness, I’m walking in confidence of who I am without the pressure to impress anybody out there. Knowing that I am loved and fully accepted by my Father above sets me at ease. It isn’t my responsibility to meet the non-negotiables on some guy’s list. I was not placed on this earth to strive to meet the requirements of the different guys I meet.

The man I meet will not expect me to be something, but will just let me be.   My purpose, as a single woman, is to simply enjoy this invaluable time of my life. As I walk out in the truth of who I am, I know I’m being prepared for whatever  is to come, whether it is a few more years of being single or meeting ‘the one’ that I can give my true self to. 

I just want to thank Hannah for guest posting today. I'm actually shooting a wedding today and thought it would be fitting to remind ourselves that singleness is the gift we all get before marriage. Enjoy it while you can.
—A 


Catch more of miss Hannah Yoon on her blog hannahgram

p.s. my summer lookbook for Ouna's Closet has been released here.

Reflecting True Beauty

Hey darlings, I'm over at Scribble n'Things! Natalie had ask me a month ago to be a part of this and I'm hoping God uses it for His glory. Go check it out :D

Side note:

Speaking of beauty, here's the lovely lady I had the privileged of mentoring. She's only 16 and I'm very proud of her. Her cover seemed to sum up my Easter Weekend.

{Tips on:} Documenting & Traveling by Ky

You may or may not know I have a slight obsession with multiple births & traveling. Since I'm also recovering from wanderlust, I decided to ask one of the traveling triplets to guest post today. This flybird has been & lived in many places all over the globe. She is now settled in California, where she & her husband work together in their very own production company.
Follow along her adventures, you'll fall in love!
p.s. For more photography tips check the photo blog
.......................
my name is kylie from the flybird.
i'm a sun chaser and vagabond who loves to document the world around me.
i married my best friend and have been traveling and having adventures ever since.

so how do you document it all and still have fun?
don't let the pressure of achieving the perfect composition
get you down - and especially don't let your comparison to other's work
make you feel inadequate to do what you love.
take photos for YOU. and for the right reasons. you'll be glad you did.

throughout my travels and day to day life, my SLR camera is a go-to item.
i don't plan photos in advance - i just pop it out when the moment is right.
that right moment has nothing to do with much other than my excitement.
if something inspires me, it's probably going to end up on my memory card.

flybird tips & tricks to staying inspired thru photos:

1. lighting - know the golden hour. the blue hour. the good times to be outside taking photos, and the bad. it makes a HUGE difference - lighting is everything. if it's blazing hot with sun straight above and glaringly bright light, fohgittaboutit. understand the the elements to capture what you envision.

2. a partner in crime - the key here is to have someone who is willing to take photos. of you. that's right, i said it. my husband is perfect for that. you'd be surprised at what a man can do with a little direction. what's more exciting is those moments when he himself comes up with everything - all his idea (as seen above). it's a creative process and if your partner isn't as interested, tough luck and say hello to self portraits! gratefully, my husband obliges much of the time to making my imaginations come to life in a photo.

3. wide angle lens - who said arm shots weren't cool? for those of us who shoot primarily with fixies (50 mm lenses) you know the hassle of taking that cute kissy photo with your lover squeeze and getting nothing but a blurry cheek and smashed nose. bummer. try a wide angle or fish eye - it adds a fun dynamic and look to the photo and for some reason 99% of the time ends up looking cool at some level.

4. feetsies - oh the places, you'll go! your feet tell the story. plus, i'm kinda obsessed with feetsie photos. clothed or naked. they're cute.

5. surroundings - see something new. discover a new place. get a little lost. travel a bit. be awkward and snap photos of strangers and don't feel weird about it. get up close and personal to detail. you'll be glad you did.

xoxo,
Kylie

Guest post: 5 important things {learned} about being single

Hey there! I'm Natalie from Scribbles n'Things where I share my faith, creative juices, and my every day life. In honor of Valentines Day {week} I was asked if I could share about 5 important things I've learned about being single. I can't say that I've fully grasped all of these "lessons," but these are the things that I'm continuing to grow in and strive for.

God Comes First. One of my all time favorite passages of scripture is Isaiah 54, The Eternal Covenant of Peace as some theologians have titled it. Verse five says...

For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called. (ESV)

Christ is to be the lover and husband of my soul, not a man. Regardless if I'm single (or married) I'm already in a covenant. I have a love life with the Creator of the universe. This is the relationship I have to cultivate and nurture more than any other relationship I could ever have. I'm His beloved bride. You and I must take delight in the divine romance before we ever enter into an
earthly one. For the divine romance will feed into the earthly one
making it a beautiful display of the gospel here on earth for others to
see.

Stewardship Matters. Often we associate that word only in regards to our finances, but biblical stewardship goes much deeper than just throwing some cash in the plate Sunday morning. Biblical stewardship involves managing our time, gifts, money, possessions, talents... everything. Now is the time to learn how to handle our personal finances (i.e. balancing a checkbook, maintaining a budget, saving, paying off debts, and getting good at stretching a dollar), to get involved in a local church, picking up basic homemaking skills. These are all important disciplines and practices to have, but let's dig a bit deeper: Are you stewarding your past well? That's sort of an odd question to ask ourselves. What I mean is we all have baggage from our past. Some of us more than others. But we'd be foolish in thinking that it's not going to affect our marriages, but it will. For some of us it's unhealthy addictions or sexual sins, or it could be that our parents got divorced... or just had really bad marriages, and we all have father wounds of some kind or another. During our single years we should try our best to work through and find healing for all our past sins/wounds so that we take in as little baggage as possible in our marriages. Maybe it helps to think of it this way, what kind of husband or wife do you want to be for your future spouse? What steps can you take today in order to become that kind of person?

It's Not Wrong or Sinful to Desire Marriage. In Genesis chapter two God says it's not good for man to be alone, so He created a helpmate suitable for Adam. In many ways both you and I were wired for marriage. We live in a culture and society were marriage isn't necessarily held in honor and it's put off for as long as possible, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I do earnestly desire to be a wife and mom someday, and there's absolutely nothing wrong in wanting that (although we shouldn't let that desire become an idol). God is pro-marriage.

Get Yourself a Naomi! Having proverbial Naomi's who speak into our lives can help us navigate the murky waters in our relationships. God doesn't desire His children to live in isolation but in community, and community should have a role in our love life as well.

You Should Be Hard to Get. "Well you're just playing hard to get!" "Your standards are too high." I've heard those words a time or two directed towards me. Look, if I'm going to be spending the rest of my life with one man, he needs to be a Real Man! Ladies, please, please, please don't settle when it comes to the man you marry (and the ones you date as well). You're a daughter of the Most High King! God does not desire to give his daughters to mediocre men. Christ loves you like no other in the universe. He knows every single thing about you from your deepest desires, secrets, dreams,
hopes, strengths, flaws, wounds, sins, weaknesses, your likes and dislikes,
what makes you smile, what makes you laugh so hard your stomach hurts,
what breaks your heart, what makes you cry, and what encourages you. Marriage is about mirroring the gospel, which means you need to wait for a man who will love you as Christ loved the church. Know to whose you are. Yes, I may be playing hard to get, but it's because I am.

Erin on Love

[blog]

Hello She Smiles, She Writes readers!

When Ashley asked me guest post on love for Valentines Day {week}, I was like WHAT?!

If you are a frequent reader of my blog, you know that I have recently come out of a four and a half year relationship. What could I write about love?! 

Well, it got me thinking about love in general...

What does it mean to love?

How are we to love?

What does love look like?

+++

Real Love Series

 Hey guys, I'm featured on Jennifer's blog today as a part of her Real Love series.

Come say hello!

p.s. check out her music here

Lady Lessons: a godly employee

I recently started a job in retail about a month and some ago. I'd done other various things before, but since I had a love for clothing and helping others to feel beautiful, this seemed like a good fit. My job has me organizing things in the store, putting together outfits for women and being a smiling face that greets them and helps to make their experience a fun one.

It got me thinking about work we (may or may not) enjoy, and I was curious as to what God says about work.

Colossians 3:23 says, "Whatever you do, work at it wholeheartedly as though you were doing it for the Lord and not merely for people." 


I had to ask myself, how many times have I had a task at hand, regardless of whether or not there's a paycheck involved, where I've totally given it my all..even when it wasn't enjoyable? Kind of a tough question. Human nature wants us to just complain and whine about why it's not fun or fair that we have to do it, but God says that we should do all of our work as though we are working for him..if God asked me to do something, I know I would totally put my full effort into it. Do you do that each time your boss gives you an assignment? 


Proverbs 16:3 says, "Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will succeed."


Have you ever been set on doing something only to find out that it was really not what God had intended for you? Unfortunately, I've experienced this before, and let me tell you, it wasn't successful. Ashley recently wrote about finding God's will for your life, and there's some great advice there to help you discover some of the plans that God has for you. It all begins with submission. The first part of that verse says to Commit. That means give it all up to Him; lose control. It's so easy to hold on to things so we feel like we have everything under control, but really it's about wholehearted surrender. When it's all given to Him, God has the ability to work freely, unhindered by our faults; consequently, this is when the most beautiful and successful things happen. Isn't that what we are all striving for? 


My encouragement to you ladies is to be faithful in your job, whether or not you like your boss, co-workers or assignments. Work as though you are doing it for God, for indeed, you are! And realize that in total surrender, you will find true happiness and success. 


Candice is the stylish gal behind Teatime Thoughts. She's a lady who believes in fairy tales, loves making girls look & feel beautiful, & will give you product reviews on her Vlogs (Teatime Thursday). You can catch her on twitter too.

[see more of this series here]

Lady Lessons: a godly wife (pt2)

I saw a lot of what I didn't want in a marriage before I even got married, so I was determined to apply simple things to my own marriage one day. What I have come to value and learn the most so far is that you have to create the atmosphere of unconditional thankfulness and love, and not for one day take for granted that this person decided to spend their life with you. And I don’t even mean that in the fairy tale cliché way. In real life it's not always in the mushy gushy love notes, gifts, goo goo eyes, and dates nights. That is romance, and while very important, the core heartbeat of the partnership is in the everyday routines and communication.

The unconditional love can come from just how you react to someone when they come in the door. Understanding is an action expression of love. I try to remember to take into account the day that he had, what’s on his mind, what he might want to do to unwind and refresh for a second. Its human nature to be like: well, what about MY day and what about what I need and what I want to do? Marriage isn’t about you. When you create an atmosphere of putting them first, its only a matter of time before they do the same because they appreciate what they have experienced from you. Might take some time of pouring into that atmosphere being built, and everything might not always be "perfectly even steven" but when two people really make an effort to put each other first (well God first of course, but you know what I mean) then both are taken care of instead of competing and keeping score about who does more or needs more. Cause that's no fun, we definitely didn't want that.

Unconditional thankfulness can come from the tone and attitude of how you talk to each other too. Creating an atmosphere where your spouse feels comfortable telling you things about their day, their thoughts, or being honest without an argument starting, getting jumped at, or feeling judged and demeaned is key. Saying “thank you” and showing our appreciation once they do something we asked them to take care of, instead of reminding them how long it took them to do it with a sarcastic thank you, is something so simple but can change shift the atmosphere to remaining positive and empowering. An attitude of entitlement is the quickest way to kill an atmosphere of thankfulness.

We are their wife, not their mother or boss. I never wanted my husband to feel like he needed a break from me. Anything they do for us should be appreciated and thanked, even if it’s something you think they should do… a real thank you doesn’t hurt anybody and it will allow the spouse to feel empowered to enjoy taking care of things. I know I enjoy cooking or making sure to get his favorites things at the grocery store when I know he notices and says thank you, and means it. Instead of just acting like
because I’m the wife, I should cook and do all the food shopping...

We decided even before we got married, we would always talk to each other like Jesus himself was standing right behind the other person. Just imagine Jesus looking over your spouses shoulder at you when you're talking. Sounds almost a little funny BUT let me tell you, it creates an applicable standard of communicating in love.

Marriage is about building the other person up and being in position to carry out what God wanted to accomplish through you both coming together. Is it always perfect? No, but when you have 1000% open communication and thankfulness for each other, what could've turned into a “rough patch” can instead just be a “good relationship building discussion.” And then you move on to enjoying each other... and making goo goo eyes ;)


Ashley is the nicest and sweetest girl I've met. She loves supporting and being involved in the blogging community, growing in the Lord and speaking her heart out. When she's not doing something thoughtful and meaningful for someone, she's probably making some adorable headbands at the Luce Shop. If you're not familiar with her blog I strongly advice you to head over there and follow her. Her encouragement is priceless. Your life will be changed.

[see more of this series here]

Lady Lessons: a godly Wife

It was a hot summer day of June of 2001. I was new to church and new to the whole summer camp experience. As I was sitting on a bench hanging out with a high school friend, I saw a strange looking boy across the field. He had an afro, spong bob socks, and an amazing smile. Wow, he seems like a fun guy I thought to myself. Little did I know that that it would be that fun guy himself that would become my husband ten years later.

I have known my husband for a decade. I met him as a junior in high school, was close friends with him all through college and became his girlfriend on my twentieth birthday. Three years later I became his wife and have been married to him for a year and a half. Its safe to say that I know that boy like the back of my hand. I know how he thinks and what he likes, can predict how he's gonna react to things, and can read his body language like a pro. Having had such a solid friendship foundation, makes being married feel like I'm hanging out with my best friend all day, every day. The world, the media, and even coming from a broken home, painted the portrait of marriage to be a difficult one full of boredom, dread, and even heartbreak.

I remember being in seventh grade and feeling the weight of my parent's divorce weighing heavy on my shoulders. I feared getting married since I was completely convinced that what happened to my parents was bound to happen to me as well. However, beyond what I felt and beyond what I had convinced myself was true, I wanted to trust in God's unshakeable truth that the plans I have for you are to prosper you and not to harm you,plans to give you hope.. Jer. 29:11.

Now that I am married, I can honestly say that I am having an amazing time being a wife. Being young and married in an enormous paradox in today's society. People my age are usually perplexed when they see my wedding ring. Most people believe that I have given up my personal goals and dreams or stop experiencing the world and life itself because I "settled down." Actually, it's quite the contrary. The great part about being young and married is just that.. we're young.. and married. We can go on crazy, spontaneous adventures. We can take risks, try new things, and make drastic life-altering decisions. We have a plethora of opportunities and routes we can take and are early in the game to fix any messes made along the way. All the while, we're a team. We get to experience all that crazy, fun stuff together while being linked together by a deep, emotional, spiritual, and physical connection.

The day I became a wife, I also was being called into a new ministry. As a wife, I serve the Lord by serving my husband. I love serving Julio by supporting him, praying for him, and lovingly submitting to the leadership role the Lord has placed over him. This makes my relationship with God even more intimate since I must rely on His grace daily to fight back my sinful desires to be selfish and I often struggle with laziness.

In return, my husband serves the Lord by loving me the way Christ loves the church. Those are some profound words. Christ died for the church! I'm pretty sure that in small ways, everyday, Julio sacrifices his own desires in order to be a better husband and leader.

Through the past year and a half, I have grown so much more conscious of what God's love is truly like. I can't even begin to count the times God has shown His love for me through my husband. Even through his human imperfections, Julio's love for me is a small reflection of God's heart vast for me; of how God pursues me, forgives me, and loves me despite my flaws and failures.

Are you married or about to become a Mrs. yourself?
What do you enjoy about your relationship and how has God used it to help you grow?


There's a lot of things I like about Betsy, where do I even start? She's witty, pretty, lives on the beach and we share the same culture (Ok, so I might be biased)! But seriously, this lady is more than a wife, and you must read about it on her blog Three-20. She is one of the few bloggers that's naturally her, not aiming to please. I am constantly held accountable by her writings. Thank you Betsy!

[see more of this series here]

Lady Lessons: Blogging

Why I Blog: The Little Lessons

Why do I blog? The question occasionally drifted through my mind, and I would find myself perplexed. Still, I never truly formed an answer to the question until one day I was blatantly asked “what is blogging useful for?” one late afternoon. I realized that I literally spend hours on blog posts, writing, and trying to make my blog look appealing – but all at once I could not find the answer for, “why do I do it?”

Though the Lord still has not revealed the full answer to that question yet, He is slowly peeling away at it. I am realizing He almost never gives me all the reasons at once, but He gave me a small morsel of the answer, and I am content. You see, my blog did not begin with a solid purpose; I was, like many others, a teen looking for something fun and creative to do. I loved writing and literature, and I found blogging to be a useful outlet to express my passion for it with the occasional inspirational post here and there.

However, after two years of mediocre blog posts, things began to change. I realized that writing was something I wanted to pursue seriously: that was when my little blogging hobby looming in the background caught my eye, and God suddenly began showing me it could grow into something far greater then I could have dreamed. Once I dove in, I found myself captivated; through blogging I was suddenly able to capture all the singular, kinky moments in life that make it so sweet. Then I fell in love with photography, with DIYs, and even editing my blog’s template through HTML! It all rushed up like a torrent, but through it all I had an inward Peace.

The Lord has given young women so many unique talents. Through blogging, many gifted Christian young women share those abilities through pictures and words. However, when Christian’s share experiences through blogging, other areas of their lives cannot help but permeate through; and the amazing gospel of Jesus Christ cannot help but shine through their lives, as they write and talk and share. A wise teacher of mine once said that whatever hobby I do or vocation I work in, I will always have a ministry. Christians who are walking with their Savior and desiring to glorify Him cannot help but reflect His love in everything they do.

Whether therefore you eat, or drink, or whatsoever you do, do all to the glory of God.

1 Corinthians 10:31

Through blogs, I have continually been lifted up by the edification of other Sister’s in Christ. I have read of their experiences, have felt their pain, their joy, their victory dances. Through blogging I have been able to share those incidences and the little lessons He teaches me daily. Whenever I read about the little lessons other young Christian ladies are learning, it inspires me to pray for them, to grow more, to keep glorifying my Savior who is so ever-faithful. This is the part of blogging which makes it so very, utterly sweet. We have a connection through His Spirit, and blogging can often times bring us together into a community of people we may never meet, but we can minister to. There can be a side of blogging that goes beyond the pictures and words. I find that if I allow myself to become transparent, to talk about things of God which truly matter, the Lord is able to take blogging and use it for His glory.

When I clicked “publish” and began my blog, I had no idea that it would bring me down this adventurous road; and though I still do not fully comprehend why I am blogging, I know that I have a strong love and desire to pursue it which bubbles from Him. It’s my little place to write, to upload photos, to share events that are happening in my life; and the culminating joy is to share the Truth about the life Jesus Christ is offering each person lovingly, freely.

Catch Kimberly's everyday life as she enjoys her days of lovely simplicity on her blog Amusing. Her blog is an inspiration to me, a personal favorite you could say. Her blog is full of eye candy pictures taken mostly by herself.  She also handcrafts beauty and sells them at her etsy shop.


[see more of this series here]

Lady Lessons: A Godly Girlfriend

Hey sisters, I need to preface this post by admitting that I am a broken, sinful, and oftentimes messy woman who is in desperate need of grace.  I am no expert on all that is required to be a godly woman in today's world.  As an imperfect twenty-two year old earnestly seeking after God, however, I have felt Him place a specific and daunting topic on my heart for this series on "Lady Lessons".  I tried to deny it, argue it, and turn it into something "easier" - but alas, the Lord has other plans!  So bear with me as I dive into the topic of what it looks like to be a godly girlfriend.

I am sure that we all have our opinions on what a "girlfriend" is and should be.  Whether you're just a friend who's a girl or you're in a dating (or courting) relationship, there are things that are required of us as women when we're trying to spur on our brothers - or boyfriends - to be their best and most godly selves.  I have been dating my best friend for almost a year, and as stated before, I am not an expert.  I fall short in my relationship often, and may even fail him sometimes... but because of the grace of God that is lavished on the both of us, we are able to extend grace and love to one other.  And I am learning how to be a better and more godly girlfriend as a result.  So allow me to share with you 5 things I believe that we should possess and exercise, first in our friendships and ultimately in our dating relationships, with men who are seeking after and fighting for the Lord.

Respect.
Just as women desire to be loved, men want to be respected.  To be respected is to be admired, and men want to be admired for who they are and for what they do.  A big part of respect, from what I have seen and learned, comes in the forms of both private and public support.  In private, respect him by letting him know how proud you are of him!  Proud of him for being the man that he is, for showing compassion to others, for standing up for his faith in the Lord, whatever!  In public, always speak highly of him and, in moderation, express your fondness of him to others, so that they too know what a wonderful guy he is.  You have the power to build him up or tear him down.  Support and respect your man!

Patience.
Patience is probably one of the hardest things to come by in today's society, as most of us are quite used to instant gratification.  But in your relationships, patience is necessary - and no, we can never have enough of it!  When you become close to another person, it is easy for frustrations to come out more easily in that relationship.  They may become your "safe place", which can be a great thing... just be warned that you do not want to abuse this place of safety!  Impatience, or a tendency to become easily irritated or provoked, can ruin an otherwise wonderful relationship.  Take a step back, breathe deep, and maybe even bite your tongue.  Ask yourself, "is this worth it?"  Sometimes it is; other times, we need to learn to throw off our pride and admit that the relationship is more important than the issue at hand.  Something that we agreed to in my relationship is that, if/when we argue (because yes, fights happen!), we hold hands while we do it.  Why?  Because it often keeps us from playing the blame-game, getting snarky, and/or raising our voices.  It requires us to be patient, and it reminds me that he is someone I care deeply about and do not want to hurt with my words or actions!  Learn to exercise patience!

Encouragement.
Now, I don't know about you, but I thrive off of encouragement.  Whether it's comes in the form of a handwritten note, a surprise gift, or a simple word of affirmation, when I am encouraged by others it literally makes me happier.  I love it!  And guess what?  So do men!  We encourage our girlfriends all the time, don't we?  "I love your hair", "You are such a great singer", "You have a beautiful heart" all help our sisters to keep going; so what make us think that men don't need some encouragement of their own?  You can take notice of his physical appearance (because most men are just as concerned with how they look as we are), one of his many talents, or the way that he treats his family.  Whatever it is that you admire about your guy, encourage him in that.  In my opinion, there is no such thing as too much encouragement - so please don't hesitate to affirm and compliment him.  Encourage your man!

Selflessness.
It is so easy to be selfish in our relationships; to focus on what you want, what you need, what you think and feel.  A relationship, however, is about more than just self.  It is a coming together of two, independent persons who are choosing to invest in one another and in the relationship because they think that the payoff may be worth it!  Learn to be selfless - to be concerned with his needs and wishes more than your own.  Recognize, too, that a relationship is a two-way street; he should also be learning selflessness as a result of being with you.  When two people begin to shed their selfish needs and wants and focus more on the other person in the relationship, sacrificial love comes to life - and that, my sisters, is a beautiful thing!  Be selfless in your relationship!  (Note: on the flipside, however, make sure that you do not allow a man to walk all over you or expect you to submit to him in all things.  Some men may try to use - or abuse - Scripture to prove his point that you are biblically required to be completely submissive as a woman.  If this happens, be cautious!  Talk to him, check out the Scriptures, and refer to a pastor or counselor... and whatever you do, never allow any man to dismiss the fact that you are God's daughter who was made for a bigger purpose than to just adhere to his wants.  We submit to a higher Authority, ladies!)

Prayer.
Never underestimate the power of a praying woman!  We should be constantly on our knees over the men in our lives.  If your boyfriend is fighting to do God's will and glorify His name, don't doubt for a second that the enemy will want to attack his efforts to serve the Lord!  Pray for him in all aspects of his life: in his family, in his place of work, in his studies, in his ministry, in his friendships, in your relationship, and - most importantly - in his seeking after God.  Prayer is probably the greatest way that you can support your guy, and the prayers of an earnest woman will not go unanswered!  Prayer is our best weapon as individuals, and in our relationships can only make us stronger.  Be a woman of prayer over and for your man!


And of course, in all of this, we must be first seeking after the Lord ourselves.  We need to finding our confidence, affirmation, and worth in Christ and Christ alone, allowing the confidence and security from our most important relationship with Him to trickle into our other relationships.  When your relationship with the Lord is first in your heart and mind, everything else seems to fall into place according to His will!

I hope that this post has inspired, encouraged, and possibly even convicted you - I know it has me!  As a godly girl-friend of girlfriend, what would you add to this list?

For an additional resource, click here!

Gennean is the pretty lady behind the blog Loved, Not Lost. She has been called to speak to young girls by living a life of holiness, surrendered to her Lover. Her posts are always encouraging and inspiring. I'm happy to have discovered her, she's truly a gem!
[see more of this series here]

Lady Lessons: Immediate Obedience

"Jen, go clean your room!" my mom instructed. "Can I please have a few more minutes?" I'd plead. Eventually I stopped asking for her to wait, because every time I did "immediate obedience" was her reply. Needless to say, she said "immediate obedience" a lot with 6 kids! She explained to me more than once, that postponing her requests wasn't really obedience at all. I needed to do it when she asked.

Well, I've been learning the same thing in my spiritual life recently. Lately God has called me to do certain things and like my mom, He wanted me to obey His call. When He speaks I can do two things: obey right then or wait for a little while. Though I am often temped to wait, God's word makes it pretty clear that waiting equates rebellion. Think about Jonah...he thought that God couldn't really ask him to go to Nineveh, so he didn't respond to the call. After spending a while in the belly of a fish, he did what God wanted. But was it obeying? Not really. Even thought Jonah thought God was crazy for wanting to spare the people of Nineveh, God's ways were higher than he could comprehend. It's the same with me.

Since January, God has been teaching me immediate obedience. He has given me tasks and directions that seem huge and crazy, but every time He has proven that He knows what He's doing. He enables me to do His will. He called me not to buy clothes, shoes, jewelry or anything like that for 9 months, He called me to work on a project that turned into Compassion's Cry, and then He told me to quit my job. In everything He wanted me to take a step of faith and simply obey Him. It's been pretty scary sometimes, but in every instance He has made it all work out better than I ever imagined.

Who would have thought that my mom's little saying would prove to be so profound later in life...



Jennifer Blair is a pretty lady full of a heart that seeks and thirsts after God. Whether it's worshiping God with her voice and guitar or keeping us accountable through her Difference Project, Jennifer reflects the qualities of a godly woman in all aspects of her life (including her marriage). Jen will be going on a missions trip to Ethiopia soon and she's selling some gorgeous headbands to raise money. Needless to say, go check Jennifer's blog out!
[see more of this series here]

Guest Post: Just Finding My Wing

Hey friends! I'm currently on my way to the DR for a family reunion. Should be fun and relaxing :)
Hope you enjoy Jesseca's post. Her blog is inspiring and refreshing. We should all strive to find our wings.

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Hello there, lovely ladies and gents!

Allow me to introduce myself: I’m Jesseca from Just Finding My Wings, and I like chocolate cake.  It’s a pleasure to know ya!

(Cue awkward picture of myself that will assure you I am indeed a real person.)

Besides loving chocolate cake and other such delicacies, I also love to share the things that God teaches me.  Have you ever noticed that God teaches you the most penetrating lessons when you least expect it?  The lessons that make the biggest impact don’t usually come when you are listening to a sermon or reading your daily devotional or watching a documentary on Five Steps to Knowing God.  Though such tools are helpful and necessary (except for maybe that last one...), more often than not the most incredible insight and revelations from the Father come when that’s the last thing on your mind.

For example.

Last night, I was eating dinner with my dad (we both worked late) and I was a little tense about some stuff.  Being the patient guy that he is, he let me sulk and glare for the entirety of my main entree, but when the chocolate cake was served, I loosened up quite a bit.  (See, I really do like chocolate cake!)

I have no clue how we got on the topic, but I remember Dad saying something and it making me cry:

“God’s love is so pervasive that whoever reaches out for it will find it.”

All I could picture was a broken man who had lived a life entirely void of love and joy, finally giving up and reaching out for something bigger than himself.  Maybe he doesn’t know what he’s looking for; maybe he doesn’t think he’ll find anything; perhaps he’s never heard of God’s love.  But he’s reaching, he’s seeking, and as he pushes his hand out of the darkness, the Father rushes to capture it with His own powerful hand.

And suddenly, the man who once had no hope for anything better than brokenness has been soaked in an indescribable love.

God loves to love us.  It’s His very favorite thing to do, in fact, because He is love.  He doesn’t just give us a nice picture to set on our dresser commemorating His love for us.  Rather, He gives us Himself.

What kind of king gives his life for his people?  Our King, my friends.  Our King.

I'm over here today....

I'm over at Teatime Thoughts talking about style today.


Also,

The Winner for the July Giveaway is Courtney Ash

I wish I could've made you all one!

Guest Post: Our Provider

One of the many characteristics of God is that He is our Provider.  He wants to provide for all of our needs and, even more than that, He wants us to trust Him to do so!  This is an area in which I have struggled greatly.  I'll candidly admit that I am a bit of a control freak, so one of the hardest things for me to do is relinquish the control I so desire to have over my life and to give it to God, trusting Him with everything.  But hey, if we're being honest, we also need to remember that we really aren't in control anyway!  We have been bought (1 Cor. 7:23), and so our lives are not our own.

Over the years I have realized that the reason why I struggle with this so much is because I have been let down by others.  Many times.  But that's a part of being human.  We fall short as a result of sin, and so we often fail one another.  That's simply a risk in human relationships.  But God is not like us.  He is not a sinful human!  He is God, the One who created of all the heavens and the earth.  He is your Creator, and He is mine.  And He wants us to trust Him with the control of our lives.

The wonderful truth we must realize is that the Lord is faithful (1 Cor. 1:9).  Despite our circumstances, He is good because He is God!  Being a self-sufficient college-student and the only Christian in my immediate family, I sometimes wrestle with God about how "difficult" my life can feel (including right now)!  In those times, I often find myself complaining, rationalizing, or crying out for help.  Let me encourage you - it's in these times of our utter desperation and weakness that God is able to work most mightily!  It is in our weakness that He is strong (2 Cor. 12:9)!  When we acknowledge that we cannot do it ourselves, God simply smiles upon us and does what He does best: takes control as Lord of our lives!

Even now, I am being forced to my knees over an issue in my life that I cannot control.  I am intentionally seeking to find joy in His presence rather than being overwhelmed and stressed out by my circumstances.  It isn't easy, but I have found that when I do lay my self at His feet and acknowledge that He is truly the One who is in control, we are in the best position to experience His powerful ability to provide!

Won't you trust Him to be your ultimate Provider?

post by the Lovely Gennean from Loved, Not Lost